Bored paranoia is the best

So I'm sitting here with nothing to do (the pile of laundry in the basement does not count) and it starts. What was that sound? Check the closets. Was that a car door? Look out the (closed) blinds for the millionth time today. My mini blinds do not appreciate paranoia and have the broken slats to prove it.

My husband worked with a guy who used to be a crack addict. The guy got so paranoid when he was tripped out that he had to replace his blinds all the time because he spent all his time looking out them for the cops. Some days I feel like that guy...

The kid was crazy today- it must be genetic- and so I have a splitting headache to go with my crazy. Had my second trip to the doc this week and found out that my weight problem (understatement) is due to a thyroid issue and can be fixed by taking a pill every day. Years of wondering how I can eat so little and still manage to gain so much weight- and it can be fixed with one pill a day. The doctor even cautioned me to call if I lose too much weight too quickly. That sounds promising, and a little scary.

The husband is out of town- STILL. He's been home for a total of 36 hours in almost 6 weeks. So not fair. For those of us that are newly married (less than 3 months) this is not fun. I think it's a law somewhere that newlyweds are required to have sex once a day or else their heads explode. There has been a serious violation of this law- hence the building pressure in my head.

I've been talking to an old boyfriend (1st Love) via email as of late. He was my first serious boyfriend (I was 17) and I haven't talked to him since we split in 97. Do you ever forget your first love? I don't think so. I think you just grow past it. We've been discussing old memories and new happenings. Our relationship was a learning experience- for me anyway. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had never been with him.

That said, my good friend (we'll call her Blondie) is very concerned about this situation. She's worried that I'm lonely and bored (which we've established is true) and thinks that talking to him will be detrimental to my marriage. I don't agree for several reasons: 1) My husband (The Rubin- TR) knows that I have been talking to him- I've made no effort to hide this fact from him, 2) 1st Love is married with a child and when he sent a photo of himself it included said spouse, 3) Photo I sent in return included TR, in fact was a wedding photo, 4) Though I'm not aware of the 1st Love's intentions with our communication, I am aware of mine, and my intentions do not include messing up the best thing that ever happened to me, 5) I am not a cheater nor, as I remember, is 1st Love, 6) TR trusts me, and does such because I've never given him a reason not too, and finally, 7) I like (like is not a strong enough word- crave, maybe- adore?) having sex with TR (always a good time honey!) and I'm not about to lose that! Sorry, sex on the brain tonight- it's been tooo long!

Enough ramblings for tonight- though I haven't looked out the blinds in almost an hour- I think this might help the paranoia. Here's hoping. Also, since I'm so narcissistic and am positive that everyone wants to know about my life- TR is always telling me how stuck on myself I am- I want this posted so no one can read it! Until later...

The Beginning (Beware of the crazy)

Okay, so I decided to try this cause I'm a complusive over- sharer and feel everyone should be exposed to my life on multiple occasions. Also, my neuroses will help put your craziness in perspective! Consider yourself warned...