Sunday, October 28, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Uneventful weekend
Things were pretty quiet around here this weekend. My brother in law (known hereafter as Slug) came over to hang out with my husband Friday night. He's not my favorite person, but it was a fairly painless visit.
Saturday the baby slept in until 9:30, so that was a good time. Jr was home from college for the weekend so she stopped by for a little bit. The husband and I played some video games and went to bed fairly early.
Sunday, we had dinner at TR's grandma's house after watching the Bengals lose.
All in all, an uneventful and non-productive weekend. Ahhhh....
Next weekend? Pumpkin farm and costume shopping.
Saturday the baby slept in until 9:30, so that was a good time. Jr was home from college for the weekend so she stopped by for a little bit. The husband and I played some video games and went to bed fairly early.
Sunday, we had dinner at TR's grandma's house after watching the Bengals lose.
All in all, an uneventful and non-productive weekend. Ahhhh....
Next weekend? Pumpkin farm and costume shopping.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I miss me...
I looked in the mirror yesterday and realized I couldn't remember the last time I had done that. I barely recognized my own reflection.
Who was this tired, old woman with the frown and out of control eyebrows? Had she heard of a hairbrush? Didn't she realize there was some weird orange stain on her baggy t-shirt? Does she realize she looks like a before photo?
I miss the old me. The me before I had two kids and stayed home all day. The me that had highlights and waxed eyebrows. Nice clothes and makeup. An occasional smile and no frown lines. Who wore jewelry with great regularity, and whose main fashion accessory was not a bandanna tied around messy hair. The me that got to wash her hair more than twice a week and didn't have to plan ahead to shave more than the lower half of her legs. Whose day was more than dishes, laundry, and dirty diapers. Whose personality was something other than tired...
Yeah, I have kids. I chose to have them and I don't regret that. But why does that mean that I have to sacrifice absolutely everything about the way my life was before them? My entire identity? Why can't I be Mommy and still be me? Why can't I feel pretty and worthwhile and still be able to give my kids what they need? Why do the two seem to be mutually exclusive?
If I seem like I'm whining, it's because I am. But you know what? I listen to enough damn whining that I think I'm entitled to do it on occasion. If this seems selfish... well, maybe if I was just a little selfish once in a while, I wouldn't be so freaking depressed right now. Maybe.
Who was this tired, old woman with the frown and out of control eyebrows? Had she heard of a hairbrush? Didn't she realize there was some weird orange stain on her baggy t-shirt? Does she realize she looks like a before photo?
I miss the old me. The me before I had two kids and stayed home all day. The me that had highlights and waxed eyebrows. Nice clothes and makeup. An occasional smile and no frown lines. Who wore jewelry with great regularity, and whose main fashion accessory was not a bandanna tied around messy hair. The me that got to wash her hair more than twice a week and didn't have to plan ahead to shave more than the lower half of her legs. Whose day was more than dishes, laundry, and dirty diapers. Whose personality was something other than tired...
Yeah, I have kids. I chose to have them and I don't regret that. But why does that mean that I have to sacrifice absolutely everything about the way my life was before them? My entire identity? Why can't I be Mommy and still be me? Why can't I feel pretty and worthwhile and still be able to give my kids what they need? Why do the two seem to be mutually exclusive?
If I seem like I'm whining, it's because I am. But you know what? I listen to enough damn whining that I think I'm entitled to do it on occasion. If this seems selfish... well, maybe if I was just a little selfish once in a while, I wouldn't be so freaking depressed right now. Maybe.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Lesson 8
You will not truly learn how thoughtful your 1st grader can be until he brings you a lunch box full of trash home every day because he "doesn't want the lunch lady to have to throw it away" for him.
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