Drunken bugs... another story from the house of crazy

There are very few things in this world I hate. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of things that I don't like, but very few I feel are worth the energy to actively hate.


Bugs happen to be at the top of that very short list.


I'm not afraid of them, so don't think it's that. I dug worms up and caught frogs and lightning bugs in jars just like every other child. No, I'm not afraid of them.


I just don't trust them.


Think about it. What good reason is there for having all those legs? (And please don't get me started on spiders- my husband is scared of those- but that's another day) There isn't one. Six legs? Triple the trouble if you ask me. And you never can tell which ones are gonna bite. AND, if they have extra legs, why the hell do some of them need wings?


And think of the germs. Ewww, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. (I do have germ phobia, in case you were wondering.)


So, by now, if you haven't found something better to do than read this (root canal anyone?) you'll be asking, why is she rambling about bugs?


Good question. And the answer is: cause the little fuckers invaded my liquor!


We keep our libations on the top shelf in our kitchen pantry. They sit up there waiting for some childless evening (I don't drink when Munchkin is home) when friends are over and we're hanging out. Everyone likes a little social lubricant every now and then.


So, this morning I saw an ant crawling on the window sill in the kitchen. I thought nothing of it. It's one ant, right? WRONG! By this evening they were marching to and fro across the kitchen wall from the window to the pantry.


Of course I started squishing the little pests. Squish! SQuish! SQUISH!! What the..? Pink? They were in the cherry juice that were use for drinks! No... wait... they're all over all the stuff in the liquor section! Squish! Oooo, brown! Kahlua anyone?


So I cleared out the cupboard, doused the kitchen in Lysol (my bestest cleaning friend!), and put the cherry juice in the fridge.


I haven't seen any for a while, but I know they're there. They're waiting me out...