The idea for homeschooling first came up in our house when my son was in first grade. He had just been suspended for "fighting" in the bathroom with a younger child (smaller, but in the same grade). Turns out, he was trying to defend himself because the kid tried to push him in a toilet. But Jacob was bigger, so he was the one that got in trouble. At parent teacher conferences I asked his teacher about why he always seemed to be in trouble but not the children he was doing the "wrong" thing with. She said, "Maybe it's just cause he's bigger than the other kids and is therefore more noticeable."
WTF?!? So because my kid is tall for his age he's automatically the troublemaker? She seemed perfectly content with that answer. At age 3 Jacob's doctor predicted him to end up 6'6" at a minimum by the time he was grown. He's 12 and 5'8" right now, so I'm willing to believe it.
In 4th grade he was terrified to go to school because the 12yr old 4th grader that everyone was afraid of threatened to kill him and his family with a chainsaw every day. When I went to the school, with their "No Tolerance Bullying Policy" I was told the child had been referred to a counselor and would not be suspended.
When Jacob was in 5th grade he was ganged up on by a group of boys in our neighborhood. Two his age, one younger and a teenager. I called the police and we ended up at Urgent Care for a bruised leg muscle, but basically all I got from the cop was "boys will be boys" and "I'd have to refer all the boys including yours to juvenile for fighting if I file a report." I went to the school the next day to speak with the principal as he had classes with two of these boys and I didn't want any issues at school. She told me that with the exception of one, they were good kids but she'd watch out for him and have the teachers do the same. When he subsequently started being threatened by these kids and told the teachers, they ignored him. That was the end for me. He hated going to school but loved learning. Always an honor roll kid that teachers raved about in class, he started not caring.
This past fall we started 6th grade with a virtual school. Ohio Connections Academy is where we landed after an extensive search and research of our options. I wasn't ready for the planning and organization of traditional homeschool, and he really needed the structure of a set schedule of courses that he could do at his own pace. OCA is considered public school, they provide all materials outside of your regular school supplies like pens, paper etc. including a computer and internet subsidy payment. He LOVES it!
He has had an amazing year. Not to imply that we haven't had our issues, but overall it's been wonderful for him. He talks to his teachers weekly and can contact them by phone or webmail (school's monitored email system) at anytime with questions or problems. He takes a break and goes out to ride his bike. He stops mid lesson and takes a nap. He loves the flexibility and I love that he is way ahead of where his friend in regular school are in subjects.
My daughter Lily just turned 6. She went to kindergarten at our local public elementary this year. I was concerned that she would have difficulty adjusting to such a structured environment as she is my little "free spirit." She did. We ended up with a behavior notebook and a point system. I supported the teacher in this. I really did. I made consequences at home for poor behavior days and rewards for good ones. And then came the lost points for things that, in my mind, were just silly and normal kid stuff. Sticking out her tongue at another kid while playing in the classroom. Taking too long in the bathroom. Running in the gym. After that, I felt like the teacher was just looking for reasons to take her points away. My smart, happy, creative little girl started coming home crying and telling me she hated school. I told her maybe she could be in OCA for 1st grade, thinking she would do better next year with a different teacher.
And then, one day I got the note that changed my mind. "Lily spent all of seat work time playing and singing. When I reminded her that she would not get recess if her work was not completed, she finished the whole day's work in 10 minutes." WHOLE DAYS WORK IN TEN MINUTES?!? Why is my kid at school 6+ hours a day being miserable when she does all of her work in ten minutes? I started the enrollment process for OCA the next day. Now she is counting the days until school is out and she can be a "homeschool kid." Or at least the version of homeschool that works for us...
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